jaune / new chara

[b]Type of Character: Human
[b]Link to Character List Page: http://www.rpgdragons.org/t5273-orokiv-lists-of-charactures

[b]Name: jaune god shields

[b]Alias: the heretic pirate  
[b]Age: 24
[b]Gender: male  
[b]Sexuality: straight

[b]Personality: sarcastic, smart. Greedy. heavy drinker. And Lustful

[b]Fears: whirlpools
Family: orphan
[b]Strengths: sword play and love guru because I can seduce the oppiest gender.  able to sail ships really well . clumbing
[b]Weaknesses: women can kill me if im distracted . cant function right when sober
and allergic to mushrooms


[b]Home: the sea and or ravenhold
[b]Profession: pirate  

Appearance:
[b]Height:6.1
[b]Hair: pony tail and is brown  
[b]Eyes: blue eyes
[b]Appearance: brown haired, pale skin ,and scare going across jaw , wears a trench coat hair is in pony tail

[b]Skills: sea sailing . signing  duel and not dual sword able to make rums and other types of drinks that get you drunk . wood curving  .  studying dragons and drawing
[b]Equipment: black with buckles and a sash trench coat. Steel reinforced cutlass that has a gold cross guard. a flask of black berry rum and a spy glass

[b]Combat Style: adapting fighting style  

[b]History: jaune was but a baby when he was left at the orphanage in ravenhold. When he was 5 he saw a ship
And stole aboard on it he was put to work on it until he run from the boat when they docked again and stole one for him self at the age of 17. he also likes to study dragons from his eye glass if he every spots any.

Who is ready for a character revision party?! I sure am!

Okay, we have some things for you to fix.

>Your personality must be at least five sentences.
>Alrighty, so you have three strengths and overall two weaknesses. "everting that kills normal human" isn't exactly a unique weakness so you will need more than that. Maybe he is clumsy. Or maybe he isn't very fast. Perhaps he has a special weak spot that nobody else has, like the knees, waist, you name it! We just need a unique physical weakness to balance out your character's skill at fencing. Also, please elaborate on your strengths. How does singing, drinking, and being a love guru benefit your character?
>Ravenhold is not an official settlement in the site lore, but you will be able to include it in your history as your place of birth. However, that's all it can do. You will not be allowed to RP there. Here are the official human settlements if you are interested. http://www.rpgdragons.org/t4666-new-members-guide-lorewip
>What does 'duel and not dual sword' mean? Please put it in your application!
>Your trench coat is reinforced by steel. How strong is it? What is it weak to? Fire? Ice? Maces? How many hits can it withstand?
>How strong is your cutlass? What can and can't it slice through? What is strong enough to break it?
>Please detail your combat style. How does he fight, exactly? Does he try to outwit his opponent? Or does he try to take them on head-to-head? The choice is yours!

That's it! If you have any questions or concern, let I or any of the staff know. We will be happy to help.

Bump this when you've made your changes!

one it means he can die like normal everyday people
and when needed 5 pesoniltys?

As far as I'm aware, we've always required five sentences for a personality. Either that or it has been required for a long time.

You will need proper weaknesses, as what you have on your application is a no-brainer. If everyone had that weakness and nothing else, we would all be pretty powerful as that basically means no weaknesses. Does that make sense?

it means I have every weakness normal people have

or I could list everything that kills us in the world would take me about two weeks to do then

Please do not double post on the forum. Thank you!

Okay, this is a good start. You should change your first weakness to be that you're easily distracted by women, which leads you vulnerable since that's more easy to understand. As for your other two weaknesses, I'm afraid they are not exactly unique enough to be allowed seeing as yet again, all humans are weak against stab wounds and acid. Maybe make Jaune slow? Or have a weakspot, like the knee? Or maybe have him be bad at swimming!

You also still need to have five sentences in your personality and refer to my first post for everything else you are yet to change, such as details on your trench coat and cutlass. Please detail your fighting style as well. Thanks!